Rules of Engagement

When issues or potential conflicts arise around child custody, parenting plans, custody agreements, divorce or similar issues:

• remember that fear means you are getting closer to the truth
• imagine yourself in the other person’s position
• know the impact your behavior has upon others
• acknowledge that your family relationships are the highest priority
• remember that your reputation is always in issue
• value the importance of staying “in relationship” and not checking out

When thinking about how to reach a resolution:

• be willing to reach mutually satisfactory agreements
• avoid posturing, tantrums, and “all or nothing” ultimatums
• have no judgment about the other’s lifestyle, ideas or plans
• identify mutual needs and interests that serve everyone
• define and prioritize needs and interests that are most important
• determine how needs and interests impact your life and why
• decide whether needs and interests are significant, tangible, present/future, and beneficial/harmful to you and your relationships

When in a dialogue with others, continue to:

• be in control of emotions, expressions, and outbursts
• communicate clearly and calmly, don’t activate others
• understand the context and content of the message
• give respect so that you get respect
• maintain a civil and polite manner
• listen and “hear” what the other is saying and not saying
• avoid interrupting, when in doubt ask if the other is finished

Powerful ways to achieve resolution include:

• stay in the present, the past will not help you now or in the future
• get past personality issues and past events that block you
• identify multiple options without evaluating
• find common solutions that benefits you and your community
• identify whether the solution is a present or future benefit
• examine and be willing to renegotiate any prior agreements

Above all, take ownership and responsibility for your behaviors, decisions, and agreements.

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We understand this is an emotional time for divorcing and separating parents, and we always put KidsFirst!

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Effective Co-Parenting

Parenting together is the unspoken agreement we make with our partner or spouse when we both decide to have children and become parents. Having been children ourselves, we know that parents who cooperate and share responsibility are acting in the best interests of the child. We also know that when parents refuse to cooperate and fail to agree on how to raise a child, it is the child who ultimately suffers.

Divorce Rate in India on the Rise

In a recent article in the International Herald Tribune, records indicate that the divorce rate in India is well on the rise.
Few societies on earth take marriage more seriously than this one. Marriage comes early, sometimes even in youth, and is cemented by illegal dowries. Opulent weddings swallow life savings. So venerated is marriage that when bruised, beaten wives flee to their parents’ homes for sanctuary, they are often turned back, implored to make it work.

Protect Your Children

“KidsFirst! is perfect for single parents who truly want to minimize the impact created by separation or divorce, impact that often falls upon the children. It’s simple, straightforward, and leaves no room for misinterpretation — it really works. My children are older now but I wish I had this kind of help all along as dealing with the family law court can be tough. I recommend KidsFirst! to any parent who wants to protect their children.” 

 Lynn Killips